who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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