I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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