It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
