Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
