Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
it glows. i had to have it.
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i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
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You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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