i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.