Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
i need some magic done to my vagina
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize