VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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