And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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