At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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