That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
