Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
