So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize