Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
