Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
