you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
