; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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