I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
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The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
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He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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