I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
she looked like the before picture.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
