trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
