I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
