For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
