He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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