Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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