I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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