doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
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On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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