so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Your cock deserves a montage
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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