Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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