Are we in a gay sports bar?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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