It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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