Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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