Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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