Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
