We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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