I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
