If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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