I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize