Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
