Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize