i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Damn victory sex feels great
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
