I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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