Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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