I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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