There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
