grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
did i just pee glitter
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