i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
