im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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