D3 body, D1 cock
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
