Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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