So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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