i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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