We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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