Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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