Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
