At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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