I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
