He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
