just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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