Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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