yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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