okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
