I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
