whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
