I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
